This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
March 5, 2011
THE COLLECTION OF EXOTIC BEINGS
Clarisse Webbfeller (Clara)
Harmonique Webbfeller (Abby)
Singing, Golden Gate of Heaven (Dale)
Singing, Golden Gate of Heaven (Kendall)
Shapeshifting Genie (Avery)
Ghost Miner (Calem)
Pirate Dinosaur (Abraham)
Oldest Woman That Ever Lived (Evey)
Baking Dancer (Molly)
Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrel (Giana)
Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrel (Taylor)
I. In the drawing room of the Webfeller's home, Madame Webfeller sits primly while reading the newspaper. She comes across an interesting article, "The Collection of Exotic Beings has lost its funding. Its future is yet to be determined. Hmmm. Very interesting..." In breezes her oldest daughter, Clarisse. Clarisse is a gentle, soft spoken young girl with an unimposing demeanor. "Good Morning Mother. Any thing interesting in the news?" Just then, Madame Webfeller's younger daughter Harmonique stomps into the room. "Mother! I just couldn't find one thing I wanted while shopping this morning. I want to buy something new, something exciting, something INTERESTING!" She fusses. Madame Webfeller rises from her chair pacing and referencing the news article once more. "Daughters, we are going to go on a cultural outing today. I'd like to take you to The Collection of Exotic Beings." She says firmly. Clarisse looks dismayed, "Oh, but Mother! It is so cruel! Staring at living things kept behind bars!" She protests. Harmonique catches the downer spirit as well, "Oh Mother! The last thing I want to do is go on a 'cultural outing'. I want to find that 'special something' that will make everything all better!" She whines and throws herself on the floor. "We are going at once! Pick yourself up Harmonique... now!" Madame Webfeller drags the girls by their shirt sleeves out the door.
II. Outside of The Collection of Exotic Beings are the former Singing, Golden Gates of Heaven [aaaahhhh, they both sing]. The Gates now guard the entrance to the collection. They engage in droll chit-chat. "I remember when we were the shiniest golden gates there ever were... The Golden Gates of Heaven![aaaahhhh, they both sing]" Says one. "Why yes, we even had a golden road leading up to our goldeness. Oh, how it shined. Those were the days. The days we reigned in Heaven![aaaahhhh, they both sing]" Says the other. "Now that we guard this oddities museum... this dirty zoo... we don't even get to turn anyone away. How awful." Says one. "Yes, but we can intimidate them a bit... look! Here come some now!" Says the other. Madame Webfeller, Clarisse and Harmonique approach the former Singing, Golden Gates of Heaven. "Hello, we are here to see the collection," Says the Madame. However, the gates do not open. Madame Webfeller clears her throat patiently. Still, the gates do not open. She looks at her daughters apologetically then shouts, "Don't you know who I am!? I am Madame Webfeller!" And that was all it took for the gates to swing open.
III. Once the Webfellers are in the collection, they are enchanted by the whimsical, preposterous and absurd wonders that the collection holds. They can hardly believe their eyes. A Shapeshifting Genie shows them all the different animals she can change into. An apparition of a Ghost Miner with a pick-axe casually walks about. The gay singing of a Pirate Dinosaur awkwardly fills the air as he skitters by. The long, red locks and priceless advice of The Oldest Woman That Ever Lived bewilders them. A jaunty, ancient Mummified Teenager gallivants around. Delectables are served to them on a tray by a footloose Baking Dancer. And the cutest exhibit of all is two Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrels that chatter with clicks of the teeth. Harmonique is beside herself with delight. She wants nothing more than to have that delight always. "Mother! I want you to buy me The Collection of Exotic Beings, for us to keep always!" She whinnies and whines with sincere desire. Clarisse tries to appeal to her mother, "Mother. These beings are fascinating and wonderful. They should be free. Not living in a zoo to be stared at always." Madame Webfeller can see both sides that her daughters presented. Being the fashionable, high society socialite that she is, she decides to open up the decision making process to a popular vote. [To audience] If you choose Harmonique, put your hands together! [A few people clap]. If you choose Clarisse, put your hands together! [The crowd goes wild]. Feeling unpopular, Harmonique stomps away. With her mother as the key investor, Clarisse will be the new owner of the collection. The Beings of the collection surround her wondering what their fate will be. "Now that I am the new owner of The Collection of Exotic Beings, I set all of you free!" The (Former) Golden Gates of Heaven burst open and the Exotic Being dance away into the sunset.