This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader.
December 18, 2010
The Half-Cat Scientist (Solly)
The School Teacher (Anna)
Dance Mistress (Emma)
The Judge (Emily)
The General (Josh)
The Life Coach (Josh)
I. The Half-Cat Scientist is in his laboratory obsessing over the idea of creating a companion to help him "...keep it together." Through much trial and error we finally are witness to the conception of The Beast. At first The Beast is sweet and cuddly like a puppy, but it quickly rebels against it masters wishes for it and freely wills itself around without regard for others. The Half-Cat Scientist certainly was not expecting such a lack of compliance and decides to send The Beast to school.
II. Once at school The Beast is unruly and determined to eat all the books in the class. He plays with his writing utensils as if they were drum sticks and slowly eats away at The School Teacher's tolerance. "That's enough!" Once The Half-Cat Scientist arrives to pick up The Beast from school, the teacher asks to have a word with him. The Beast terrorizes the school children as the The School Teacher itemizes each of his offenses throughout the day. "My conclusion, Sir, is that The Beast has TOO MUCH PHYSICAL ENERGY and should be sent to dance class!"
III. And so The Half-Cast Scientist drags The Beast across town to Mistress Manèges
School of Dance. The poised and strict dance teacher is certain she can being some elegance and finesse to the life of The Beast. She praises him for bringing the proper footwear. During class, The Beast simply will not adhere to her techniques. He keeps dancing a low, hip-circulating dance that makes the ballerinas' blush. "Cover your eyes, girls!" Directs Mistress Manèges strongly. Things only worsen as The Beast takes off his ballet slippers and proceeds to eat them. When the Mistress reprimands him, he throws the slippers at her in front of her whole class. Once The Half-Cat Scientist arrives to pick up The Beast from dance, the mistress asks to have a word with him. The Beast terrorizes the ballerinas' as Mistress Manèges itemizes each of his offenses throughout the day. "My conclusion, Sir, is that The Beast has TOO LITTLE DISCIPLINE and should be sent to the military!"
IV. And so The Half-Cast Scientist drags The Beast across town to enlist him in Discipline Training. The powerful and rigid General is certain he can bring a sense of order and discipline to the life of The Beast. They have barely marched together for 50 steps before The General begins to doubt his effectiveness and ability to control The Beast. After many painstaking drills, it is clear that he simply cannot keep The Beast in line. Once The Half-Cat Scientist arrives for his first meeting with The General, it is clear to him that the man is struggling. The Beast breaks the ranks and distracts the soldiers as The General itemizes each of his offenses throughout his training. "My conclusion, Sir, is that The Beast IS A MENACE TO SOCIETY DUE TO HIS UNPREDICTABLE INDIVIDUALISM. There is no other option but to let the justice system deal with the likes of him!"
V. At the trial of The Beast, The School Teacher, Mistress Manèges and The General all testify to his lack of civility and purpose. The School Teacher concludes, "...he must have ADHD..." Mistress Manèges attests, "...he has no self-control..." and The General asserts, "He needs structure!" Based on these testimonies The Judge deduces that The Beast does not have sound judgment and must be locked away. The Half-Cat Scientist weeps. That evening The Beast makes a racket in the cells and disturbs all the inmates. Even the guest in the Fanta-Suite Prison Cell gets his knickers in a pucker and complains to the front desk that he wants his money back. This is the last straw for The Judge. He call upon The Life Coach. The Life Coach meets with The Beast and quickly realizes that isolation is not the answer to taming the beast. Locking The Beast up was only making his craziness grow, since it was all pent up. The Life Coach tries to reason with The Judge that the beast must be free, if he is to be safe in society. The Judge cannot stand to hear this, let alone believe it. He is so disturbed that he has The Beast placed in solitary confinement. The Life Coach warns this is a grave mistake, but The Judge would not listen. That night the pent up energies in The Beast were growing and growing. Finally, he BURST through the walls of the prison leaving a gaping hole for all the prisoners to escape. The Beast was free.
Epilogue. Five years pass and we see The School Teacher, Mistress Manèges, The General and The Judge all going through the motions of their day. Their movements are robotic and repetitive. The Life Coach and Half-Cat Scientist stand aside, juxtaposing the lifelessness. Suddenly The Beast comes strolling onto the scene looking quite dapper. He says to his creator, "I've just returned from Harvard with a degree in Laser Engineering." Upon hearing this his adversaries are translated into seething, twitching, hyper, unruly beasts.