Play: THE FEET OF DANCERS

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
March 26, 2011

THE FEET OF DANCERS

Starring:
The Pirates --
A Pirate (Ian)
A Pirate (Dustin)
A Pirate (Emma)
Mr. Tootsies Fabulous Feet Dancers --
Mr. Tootsies (Evey)
Tosie (Taylor)
Toe-Toe (Jordan)
The Gypsies --
Eleesia (Charlotte)
Rosalita (Sophia)
Rosanisha (Grace)

Synopsis:
I. We see three sneaky Pirates tiptoeing across the scene. We know that these Pirates are hunting. They peek under a bush "Arrrrr!", they peek behind a tree "Arrrrr!" and when we come face to face with them, the narrator says "These Pirates are searching for the most precious of things. What is it that Pirates find to be most valuable? Yes, of course, these Pirates are hunting for..." The Pirates snarl, "Feeeeet!" Narrator resumes, "Yes, feet. More than anything else in the world, Pirates want feet. And not just any feet, no siree, they seek THE FEET OF DANCERS." Suddenly from all around the scene, above, below and from the sides, feet pop out and begin to dance. "And in this particular case, these particular Pirates were hunting the feet of Mr. Tootsies Fabulous Feet Dancers..." Mr. Tootsies rises out of the floor and breaks into song: "Fabulous Feet... I love my fabulous feet...", and an old ragtime dance with flashes of fancy footwork follows. There is one patron present that never misses a show, The Ghost Fox. He sits transparently and watches.
II. Well, after a long show, Mr. Tootsies and his dancers, Toe-Toe and Tosie need to take a load off. "Ugh! My feet are killing me..." The dancers sit rubbing their feet and grimacing. The narrator says, "Yes, there are many ways in which a dancer can pamper their feet. Mr. Tootsies Fabulous Feet Dancers are the biggest fans of the following. The first method is to lather the feet with shea butter and arnica." The dancers make dramatic faces of relief and moan and groan. "The second, a cherished practice, is the group foot rub" The three get into a funny, pretzel position and rub one anothers feet. One of Toe-Toe's feet is left out of the equation and she whines "Hey! What about me?!" The Narrator continues, "The most preferred method however, is the epsom salt foot soak." The dancers plunge their feet into 3 pots as their eyes roll into the back of their heads in ecstasy. "One thing that the dancers can't indulge in, even though everyone else is doing it, is to run over a bed of hot coals, when all their friends are having fun doing so." As everyone is captivated by the festivities of fire walking, nobody notices when Tosie is lured away by the Pirates. The Pirates make grand promises of whats to come if she will go with them...
III. The next evening, The Ghost Fox attend Mr. Tootsies Fabulous Feet Dancers' show and notices that Tosie is missing. He has an intuitive hunch that something isn't right. The Ghost Fox decides to investigate and hovers around after the audience leaves. After the show as Mr. Tootsie's and Toe-Toe are going through their feet pampering rituals, and The Ghost Fox observes The Pirate approach them. "Hello Dancers," Says one of the mangy pirates with wide eyes. "We know where your friend is. She made a decision to take the best care of her feet... If you come with us, we will show you where there is a spring-loaded dance floor that is waxed morning, noon and night. It is lined with fountains of Epsom Salts and Myrhh, and there beyond are plush recliners with ottomans' of satin." The dancers are hypnotized by these words. They follow the Pirates in a dream-like state, much to the dismay of The Ghost Fox. The Ghost Fox senses disaster, but knows that he must not go to the Pirates' ship alone. He will need help. "I must go to THE GYPSY CAMP to find help."
IV. The Ghost Fox approaches the Gypsy Camp and we hear mysterious music. Around a fire the Gypsies dance a highly organized ritual. When they are finished they greet The Ghost Fox. He tells them every detail of what he has seen and how he believes that the Pirates have ill intentions for the dancers. Rosanisha states flatly, "We will not stand for this. Our fellow dancers will not be had by some filthy pirates." The Gypsies all agree. "Yes, we must think of a plan to trick the Pirates," says Eleesia. "I have a plan, friends!" Rosalita offers. "Let us take off all of our jewelry and precious things. We will put them in this basket with gold coins and chalices." The Gypsies strip themselves of their gemstones, baubles and all that glitters and put the items into a basket. "These things mean nothing to us in comparison to a dancers' feet." Explains Eleesia. "Yes, but perhaps it will distract them..." The Ghost Fox follows as the Gypsies start off into the moonlight in an offering procession. Rosanisha holds the glittering basket above her head, guiding their way and protecting them as they navigate toward the Pirates' Ship.
V. Once on the ship, Rosalita yells, "Pirates, we have come to dance for you! Show yourselves!" The Pirates emerge from the depths of the Galley and see the Gypsies in an intriguing formation. The moonlight glints off their beaded shawls and their feet are bare with rare markings on them. They have the Pirates' attention. The music starts and the Gypsies dance a dance like no one has even seen. It is mesmerizing and the Pirates' are totally entranced as Mr. Tootsies Fabulous Feet Dancers are freed by The Ghost Fox. Mr. Tootsies, Toe-toe and Tosie join the Gypsies in the dance. The intensity grows until the dancers part to reveal a basket filled with precious objects. They all bow down, creating a passage way for the Pirates. The Pirates are completely distracted by the glittering golden treasures in the moonlight. They walk up the passageway through the dancers and their eyes light up as they sort through the basket of treasure. Completely transfixed, they are oblivious as the dancers slip away into the night.
Epilouge. And never again did Pirates hunt for the FEET OF DANCERS. Now, Pirates hunt for the a lesser treasure... and we are glad of it.

Play: THE FROSTING CALAMITY

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton -- ON HER BIRTHDAY!
March 19, 2011

THE FROSTING CALAMITY

Starring:
The Queen of Frosting Land (Aviva)
The Princess of Frosting Land (Evey)
Russian General (Micah)
King of the Nothing Doers (Augie)
Runaway Girl Disguised as a Boy (Charlotte)
President of the United States of America (Paulo)
Poseidon (Seth)
Poseidon's Daugther (Zoe)
Zeus (Davis)
Lily, a Dalmatian Puppy (Nora)
Premiere Puppeteer of Frosting Land (Ian)
The Frosting (Emma)

Synopsis:
Intro. In the lavish throne room of The Queen of Frosting Land, The Queen tells The Princess of how happy she is, "Frosting production is up, Princess! If we continue on like this, we can cover the whole world with Frosting, just like Frosting Land!" The Princess details all the new things she will buy with their profits. The Princess' Puppy wanders into the room and begs for food; the two women are so excited about their frosting takeover that they do not even notice the Puppies needs.
I. Zeus and Poseidon stand on opposite clouds. Poseidon is accompanied by his Hydro-Powers Head Technician, his daughter. Zeus yells across the sky, "Why do they need so much Frosting down there? Can't they be more like the people of Olympus?" Poseidon responds, "Yes, dear me, the people of Frosting Land are too decadent and rich..." They shake their heads in sync. "Perhaps, we should teach them a little lesson about needs?" Suggests Zeus. Poseidon agrees. "I will use lightning to make the frosting go away!" Zeus exclaims. Poseidon shakes his head, "No, use water!" "Lightning!" "Water!" "Lightning!" "Water!" ...They argue. "Hey! Who's the boss around here anyway!" Roars Zeus as he charges up his finest lightening rods and plunges them down into Frosting Land. Instead of the lightning disappearing, it is cooked into thick, sticky icing. "Now look what you have done Zeus! Let me and my daughter handle this..." And so, Poseidon uses the full force of all of his oceanic powers on the icing. It begins to wash over all the lands.
II. Meanwhile in Arizona, a descendant of the Hopi Indians takes a nap on a cliff's edge. With his hat over his face he hardly has time to see what hit him. A wave of gummy icing cascades over the rims of the canyon filling it to the brim. The napping man is trapped like an insect in amber. Within minutes, The President of the United States of America gets a phone call. "Yes? Our premiere tourist destination The Grand Canyon has been filled to brim with Icing? I know precisely how to handle this. I will call the Russian Military." Within seconds The Russian General steps into the Oval Office. He speaks loud, stilted Russian in the President's Face. "I see General. We have but one choice. We must call on The King of the Nothing Doers." The President and the General pause quite dramatically as The King of the Nothing Doers strides casually in the door. The King is accompanied by a Runaway. The President desperately describes the situation with The Grand Canyon to the King. He waits for a response. The King just stares blankly ahead. And so the President presses on, describing a multitude of approaches they could use. He waits for a response. The King just stares blankly ahead. The Runaway steps forward, "I will speak on his behalf. The King thinks that you should DO NOTHING to the Icing." The President cocks his head and looks at the King. "Thank you King! If this is your solution, then we will DO NOTHING to the Icing!"
III. Interrupted by the news of the relocated Frosting during an exhilarating performance by The Premiere Puppeteer of Frosting Land, the Queen of Frosting Land angrily calls The President of The United States of America. "Hello Mr. President. I realize that you now are in possession of all of my precious frosting. I want it back!" The President describes how unfortunate the Icing in the Grand Canyon is. He asks the queen to please take care it. "It is YOUR problem now Mr. President! Even though it is MINE, it is in YOUR country! Get it back to me at ONCE!" She insists, slamming down the phone. In a huff, she tells the Princess about the Frosting. The Princess faints. The Queen paces, muttering, "...my frosting, my precious frosting..." She is so wrapped up in her loss, that she hardly notices the hungry Puppy begging to be fed. When the Puppy tugs at her dress, she takes notice of her for once. Just then, the Queen has a life-changing moment gazing into the eyes of this hungry Puppy. Coming down onto one knee to pet her, The Queen inquires attentively, "What do you need, girl? You want something to eat?" The Puppy is ecstatic for the attention and jumps up, down and around. "Princess, get up! Go fetch this lovely little Puppy something to eat." The Princess brushes herself off, "But mother?!" Her mother shoots her a look she would never forget, "Now!" The Princess scurries off and fetches a Crystal Bowl of the Finest Frosting. She puts the bowl down in front of the Puppy and the Puppy turns her nose up to it. "Puppy! This is the Finest Frosting in all of Frosting Land! Eat it!" The Puppy refuses to eat the frosting. The Queen again comes down to the Puppy's level to figure out what she needs. "What do you want, sweetie? Do you want FOOD?" The Puppy wags her tale like crazy. The Queen instructs the Princess to go fetch some real food for the Puppy at once. She sits down to call the President, "President? I have decided to help you take care of the Icing. From now on the Frosting belongs to All Peoples. I will only produce FOOD from now on. Let's have a celebration and eat the Icing!"
Epilogue. There is a huge party at the Grand Canyon with all descendants of the Hopi Indians, The Russian Army, Puppies, The Nothing Doers, Americans, The peoples of Frosting Land and The Gods. They eat the whole grand canyon clean... and then they all have a tummy ache.

Play: THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE TRASH AVALANCHE

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
March 12, 2011

THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE TRASH AVALANCHE

Starring:
Hibbish, The Crystal Mining Dwarf (Phinn)
Frederick The Hobo (Paulo)
Lila The Sun Faerie(Evey)
Dandelion The Wood Faerie (Ella)
Daisy The Flower Faerie (Giana)
Zarsha, A Witch of WenDrum (Zoe)
Jenny, A Witch of WendDrum (Olivia)
The Almighty Alchemist (Emma)

Synopsis:
Intro. Hibbish is busy mining crystals in the fruitful crystal caves of the Magical Realm. He is so accustomed to finding sizable, valuable crystals that he has grown bored with the hunt. "I wish I would find something really, really cool. When will something extraordinary happen to me?" He is most excited to find some sort of thread sticking out of the rocks. As he pulls on it he senses a gentle rumbling...
I. On the Earthen Realm, Frederick The Hobo is taking his afternoon siesta in his sun soaked junkyard. He has had an epic day of dumpster diving, retrofitting and redistributing goods. He sleeps soundly near a huge rubbish pile. Sensing a gentle rumbling, he awakens. "What is happening? An earthquake...?" And before he can even think a thought he finds himself surfing on a huge avalanche of trash. "What is happening?! Ohhhhh noooooo!" Frederick has to skillfully stay aloft as the avalanche cascades, down, down, down. Finally he feels his feet on solid ground. He takes a look around and is certain he is in a foreign land. He hears a muffled grumble and his attention turns to a pair of legs sticking out from under the trash avalanche. "Oh no! Someone is trapped under the trash! I will help you out!" Frederick begins to tug and pull at the legs to no avail. "You are too stuck! What can I do?" Straining to hear the voice, he decodes Hibbishs' instructions, "...follow the river to the Tree of the Elements. There you will find the Elemental Faeries. Bring them to me..."
II. Frederick skips across stones and balances logs, down, down, down the river bank he walks looking for any sort of tree that might be "The Tree of The Elements". By and by he comes to a tree that has the thickest, most scraggly branches he has ever seen. The tree shimmers like the surface of a swimming hole under the moonlight. "Hello?" One, two, three faeries appear in various branches high above the ground. "Hello... I am Lila The Sun Faerie." Says a glowing yellow Faerie. "And I am Dandelion The Wood Faerie," Says a Faerie that nearly blends into the tree. "Greetings! I am Daisy The Flower Faerie." Says a tiny Faerie that is lowest on the tree. "Hello good faeries! You need to come with me! Your friend Hibbish is trapped under an avalanche of trash!" He pleas loudly. Lila inquires, "Trash? What is trash?" As she flies down to meet him. "Oh, it's hard to explain. Just come with me!" The Faeries are so used to Hibbish getting into trouble that they calmly follow as Frederick leads them back up the river. Once they arrive at the trash heap, they are overwhelming alarmed to see the ugly, foreign, material trapping Hibbish. They combine their powers to try a vanishing spell on the trash. It just will not work. "I have an idea says Dandelion!" Then, she commands a giant dandelion to grow and lift the trash off of Hibbish. "It worked! I'm freeeeee!" Squeals the relieved little Dwarf. Hibbish does a high energy freedom dance that delights Frederick and the Faeries as they clap along.
III. Hibbish suddenly stops his dancing with an alarmed look on his face. "Well friends, I am free, but how do we free ourselves of my oppressor?" He says soberly pointing to the huge mountain of trash. "What is it? Where did it come from?" Frederick asks the gang to sit down. He tells them that he is from the Earthen Realm and that too much "trash" is a common problem on earth. "Fortunately I have made an honest living from other peoples trash and know a few tricks for getting rid of it... but a pile this size is alarming." Says the humble hobo. The Fearies look at one another in agreement. "Friends. We will visit the Witches of Wendrum for the appropriate magic to rid ourselves of this so called 'trash'." Says Lila with a quiet determination. "I will take this sample to show them..." She reluctantly picks up a piece of Styrofoam, holding out in front of her as if it is a dead rat. The group pays visit to the lair of the Witches of WenDrum, Zarsha and Jenny. The two comical characters are baffled by the piece of Styrofoam as they pass it back and forth, back and forth. "There is only one thing to do, Jenny." Zarsha states firmly. Jenny raises one eyebrow, "Vanishing spells?" They pull out their wands in sync. "Yes!" The Witches go to work passing the indestructible chunk back and forth between lighting bolts, sting rays, moon beams and jet streams of magic shooting about. It is very exciting to watch... yet, in the end the chunk still has not vanished. "What will we do, friends? The 'trash' will not vanish!" Whines Hibbish. The Witches seem to know just the thing. "There is only one thing we can do. Visit THE ALMIGHTY ALCHEMIST!"
IV. The crew gathers around the mezzanine protruding from the veranda of the fortress of The Almighty Alchemist. "Who comes to me?" Roars the stereo-surround voice of the Almighty amidst flashing lights. Frederick shouts, "I am a visitor from the Earthen Realm. I've accidentally brought with me a BIG problem that your people need help with!" The lights continue to flash for a moment longer, then cease as The Almighty comes walking down the winding stairs. "Ah,yes. An earth issue. What is causing the problem?" He asks in a fatherly tone. The group says together, "Trash!" The Almighty nods knowingly. "Yes, of course, trash. What have you tried to rid us of the problem?" The Witches of Wendrum step forward, "Why, Vanishing Spells, Almighty one." The Almighty reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands face to face with the group, "Sit down my friends," He instructs. The group sits cross-legged at his feet like children at story time. "Trash will not simply VANISH. This is the very reason why the earth is overflowing with trash... so much that it is spilling over into the Magic Realm. People on earth believe that when they 'throw it away' that it simply vanishes! What an illusion..." The Alchemist stops and shakes his head in sadness, until a look of hope washes it away. "My friends, what we need to do is to make the trash into something useful! We will TRANSFORM THE TRASH!"
Epilogue. The Almighty Alchemist wears his new "Lamp-shade hat" and looks on with pride as Frederick, Hibbish, Lila, Dandelion, Lily, Zarsha and Jenny model their trash transformations. Zarsha transforms an old ratty sweater into a hip, retro, re-make shirt. Lila plants old seeds that were saved into new growth. Hibbish bounces by on a pogo box he made from an old toaster while Frederick drops an anchor he redesigned from a refrigerator. Lily scrapes the calcium from old bones for houseplant fertilizer and Jenny melts down old candy wrappers to create a blingin' new grill for her teeth. Dandelion punts a kick ball around that was made from a combination of old rubber erasers. And so, even though it is only a start for ridding the magic realm of the Earthen Realm's trash, at least the magic is stewing for the anyone in the Earthen Realm to borrow for transforming trash in treasures.

Play: THE COLLECTION OF EXOTIC BEINGS

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
March 5, 2011

THE COLLECTION OF EXOTIC BEINGS

Starring:
Madame Webbfeller(Zoe)
Clarisse Webbfeller (Clara)
Harmonique Webbfeller (Abby)
Singing, Golden Gate of Heaven (Dale)
Singing, Golden Gate of Heaven (Kendall)
Shapeshifting Genie (Avery)
Ghost Miner (Calem)
Pirate Dinosaur (Abraham)
Oldest Woman That Ever Lived (Evey)
Mummified Teenager(Jordan)
Baking Dancer (Molly)
Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrel (Giana)
Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrel (Taylor)


Synopsis:
I. In the drawing room of the Webfeller's home, Madame Webfeller sits primly while reading the newspaper. She comes across an interesting article, "The Collection of Exotic Beings has lost its funding. Its future is yet to be determined. Hmmm. Very interesting..." In breezes her oldest daughter, Clarisse. Clarisse is a gentle, soft spoken young girl with an unimposing demeanor. "Good Morning Mother. Any thing interesting in the news?" Just then, Madame Webfeller's younger daughter Harmonique stomps into the room. "Mother! I just couldn't find one thing I wanted while shopping this morning. I want to buy something new, something exciting, something INTERESTING!" She fusses. Madame Webfeller rises from her chair pacing and referencing the news article once more. "Daughters, we are going to go on a cultural outing today. I'd like to take you to The Collection of Exotic Beings." She says firmly. Clarisse looks dismayed, "Oh, but Mother! It is so cruel! Staring at living things kept behind bars!" She protests. Harmonique catches the downer spirit as well, "Oh Mother! The last thing I want to do is go on a 'cultural outing'. I want to find that 'special something' that will make everything all better!" She whines and throws herself on the floor. "We are going at once! Pick yourself up Harmonique... now!" Madame Webfeller drags the girls by their shirt sleeves out the door.
II. Outside of The Collection of Exotic Beings are the former Singing, Golden Gates of Heaven [aaaahhhh, they both sing]. The Gates now guard the entrance to the collection. They engage in droll chit-chat. "I remember when we were the shiniest golden gates there ever were... The Golden Gates of Heaven![aaaahhhh, they both sing]" Says one. "Why yes, we even had a golden road leading up to our goldeness. Oh, how it shined. Those were the days. The days we reigned in Heaven![aaaahhhh, they both sing]" Says the other. "Now that we guard this oddities museum... this dirty zoo... we don't even get to turn anyone away. How awful." Says one. "Yes, but we can intimidate them a bit... look! Here come some now!" Says the other. Madame Webfeller, Clarisse and Harmonique approach the former Singing, Golden Gates of Heaven. "Hello, we are here to see the collection," Says the Madame. However, the gates do not open. Madame Webfeller clears her throat patiently. Still, the gates do not open. She looks at her daughters apologetically then shouts, "Don't you know who I am!? I am Madame Webfeller!" And that was all it took for the gates to swing open.
III. Once the Webfellers are in the collection, they are enchanted by the whimsical, preposterous and absurd wonders that the collection holds. They can hardly believe their eyes. A Shapeshifting Genie shows them all the different animals she can change into. An apparition of a Ghost Miner with a pick-axe casually walks about. The gay singing of a Pirate Dinosaur awkwardly fills the air as he skitters by. The long, red locks and priceless advice of The Oldest Woman That Ever Lived bewilders them. A jaunty, ancient Mummified Teenager gallivants around. Delectables are served to them on a tray by a footloose Baking Dancer. And the cutest exhibit of all is two Tu-Tu Wearing Squirrels that chatter with clicks of the teeth. Harmonique is beside herself with delight. She wants nothing more than to have that delight always. "Mother! I want you to buy me The Collection of Exotic Beings, for us to keep always!" She whinnies and whines with sincere desire. Clarisse tries to appeal to her mother, "Mother. These beings are fascinating and wonderful. They should be free. Not living in a zoo to be stared at always." Madame Webfeller can see both sides that her daughters presented. Being the fashionable, high society socialite that she is, she decides to open up the decision making process to a popular vote. [To audience] If you choose Harmonique, put your hands together! [A few people clap]. If you choose Clarisse, put your hands together! [The crowd goes wild]. Feeling unpopular, Harmonique stomps away. With her mother as the key investor, Clarisse will be the new owner of the collection. The Beings of the collection surround her wondering what their fate will be. "Now that I am the new owner of The Collection of Exotic Beings, I set all of you free!" The (Former) Golden Gates of Heaven burst open and the Exotic Being dance away into the sunset.

Play: DREAM QUEST FOR THE LANGAUGE OF THE HEART

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
February 26, 2011

DREAM QUEST FOR THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART

Starring:
Spots the Kangaroo(Giana)
Grinhilda the Kangaroo Rancher (Evie)
Wisened Japanese Woman (Taylor)
Wisened Japanese Woman (Jordan)
Samurai /Ghost Dingo(Emma)
Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth (Ella)
Soothsaying Bush Woman (Zoe)


Synopsis:
I. Grinhilda and her prized kangaroo 'Spots' rest in the sun on a splintering bench. It is a quiet day on the ranch, leaving Grinhilda time to dream. "Spots, I want to have the most successful Kangaroo Rodeo in all of Australia... wouldn't that be something? Spots, do you understand me? Yarg! If only I could speak 'kangaroo' then we would be the most famous duo down under!" Grinhilda decides to finish up her dream time with a little siesta. "Time to catch a wink, Spots..." Grindhilda sinks into a deep sleep. In the dreamscape she is greeted by two Wisened Japanese Women. The Women perform a slow and ethereal dance before speaking to Grinhilda in unison. "Grinhilda, if you wish to have the most successful Kangaroo Rodeo in all of Australia, you must journey to the northern islands to find us. Only then, will we tell you the answers... Come to Japan..." Grinhilda murmurs in her sleep, "Japan?..." "Yes, JAPAN!"
II. With Spots riding on her like a joey in a pouch, Grinhilda boards the small airliner bound for Japan. She feels as though this could be a wild goose chase, but she has always wanted to explore the northern islands. Once they reach the main island, they do not have to go far to find the two Wisened Japanese Women. The Women dance around a rice basket chanting over and over "Kangei no hakujin shōjo, kangei kangarū... Kon'nichiwa!" Grinhilda does not understand and is reminded of her initial dilemma -- language barriers! Spots approaches the women and one of them says, "Ahhhh, Kon'nichiwa, kangarū!... Boing-boing, boing-boing?" Grinhilda is amazed. It is as though the women are talking 'kangaroo'! The Wisened Women approach her, now saying in English, "Hello Grinhilda. We have been expecting you. What is it that you seek?" Grinhilda tells the women her strong desire to speak 'kangaroo' so that she and Spots can be the most famous duo down under. She explains her dream and how she had journeyed a very long way to seek out their wisdom. "Ahhhh, we see, we see. Grinhilda, you must go visit the Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth to learn more about speaking 'kangaroo'." Advise the Wisened Women. "Where can I find this Jack Rabbit, oh wise ones?" Asks Grinhilda willingly. "Why, in the dry lands of Australia of course, dear." Grinhilda is speechless. She traveled all the way to Japan, just to find out the answers she sought were back home in Australia? Grrrrrr. "Why, oh why, wise ones, did you beckon me to come to you? Couldn't you have told me this in the dream?" Questioned Grinhilda. The women just looked knowingly at one another and then back at the girl, "Soon... you will understand." And with that, they returned to their chanting, "Hakujin no on'nanoko, o wakare no kangarū, wakare o o wakare!"
III. Once back in the arid lands of Australia, Grinhilda and Spots sought the Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth. It didn't take long for them to find her, nibbling on a cactus and resting from an around-the-world jaunt. Spots approaches the Jack Rabbit first, "Boing-boing, boing boing?" Says Spots. The Rabbit replies, "Vroom-vroom, vroom vroom!" Grinhilda is mesmerized. It is as though the animals are having a full conversation. She sits quietly and observes. In some time a mirage slowly builds in the desert sands. The two Wisened Japanese Women are peering down at Grinhilda. "Soon... you will understand... you must now visit the Dingo that lives in the old mineshaft..." Grinhilda is not sure what to take from all of this, but she obeys. Calling for Spots, Spots and The Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth exchange goodbyes and the long journey continues. Finally, Grinhilda and Spots find the old mineshaft. A ghostly barking comes from the darkness of its depths. Grinhilda is frightened. She clammers for Spots' tail and begs Spots to lead the way. Spots does not seem to be afraid, even when the Ghost Dingo flies over to her with a racket of "Ooooo's!" and howling. "Boing-boing, boing boing?" Says Spots. The Ghost Dingo replies, "Oooo-ruff ruff... ooooo!" Grinhilda is scared stiff, but fascinated by the exchange. Entranced, she hardly notices when the faces of the two Wisened Japanese Women appear as ghostly apparitions. "Soon... you will understand... you must now visit the Soothsayer that lives in the bush..." And with that, the Ghost Dingo disappeared into thin air and Grinhilda and Spots were on their way.
IV. Wandering through the dry lands, Grinhilda was so tired she didn't notice a bushel following her. Of course Spots noticed and began to sniff excitedly around the bushel. "What is it Spots? Why are you sniffing that bush?" Grinhilda sink down onto a rock, sitting there dumbly, shaking her head and trying to make sense of all this. Suddenly, the bushel explodes into twigs, flowers and leaves leaving behind the Soothsaying Bush Woman. The Woman shouts "Click, hoont, click-click, waaaar!" Grinhilda is beside herself, as she watches Spots approach the wild woman, "Boing-boing, boing?" Says Spots. The Bush Woman replies, "Click, hoont!" Then shoots Grinhilda a fierce look. Grinhilda says sheepishly, "Hello?" The Bush Woman straightens herself appearing quite dignified all of a sudden, "Yes. Hello. I speak your language." Grinhilda sighs a thousand sighs and breaks down with her story. She tells the Soothsayer about her desires, her dreams, the Wisened Japanese Women, the Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth, the Ghost Dingo, and all the sounds and words she had heard along the way. The Bush Woman listens deeply and openly. She understands. "Yes, child. Do you understand now? You must listen not with the ear, but with your heart. Only then can you speak to Spots. Only then can you know the Wisened Japanese Women, The Fastest Jack Rabbit on Earth, the Ghost Dingo and I." And with that statement, all of the sounds began to swirl around Grinhilda. They overtake her. The chanting, the clicking, the ooo-ing, the barking, the boinging, the vrooming... She enters a dream state.
V. Grinhilda awakens in the very spot she had laid down for her siesta. Spots was sleeping next to her in a pool of sunrays. "Spots!..." She shouts as if she had had an epiphany. Spots awakens looking surprised. Grinhilda asks, "Boing-boing, boing boing?"

Play: CUPIDS' NEW GLASSES

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
February 12, 2011

CUPIDS' NEW GLASSES

Starring:
Little Cupid (Giana)
Big Cupid (Taylor)
Awkward Sister (Avery)
Awkward Sister (Kaiya)
Fresh Street Dancer (Odin)
Fresh Street Dancer (Augie)
Fresh Street Dancer (Sylvan)
DJ Evester (Evie)
Librarian (Emma)
Optometrist (Trish)

Synopsis:
I. Narrator states "We find ourselves on a typical day in Burlington, Vermont..." DJ Evester spins into action "It's time to get Church St. started!" As he spins an MIA record, the bustling pedestrian mall springs to life. First we see three Street Dancers working hard to fill their hat. They are dancing break, crump and rubberband dance, taking turns to show off their unique styles. The two Awkward Sisters, awkwardly wobble their way toward the dancers. They quietly observe, clearly impressed by the energy and vitality of the street performers. Suddenly The Librarian appears on the library balcony shaking her fist. "QUIET DOWN out there... please! There are people trying to read in here. I can't even hear my own thoughts..." Everyone shakes their heads and rolls their eyes, but compliantly begin to disperse the crowd. The Awkward Sisters put a sizable donation in the hat for the Street Dancers and they continue down the block.
II. The Street Dancers have a hard decision to make on how they will spend their hard earned bank roll. "We got so much bread, what should we do today?" Says one. "I know just the thing." Says another. They all look at each other in agreement. "Records!" Everyone knows that DJ Evester has the hottest records in town. They make their way to her record stand. As the street quiets we see that their are two new faces on the block. Two cherub-esque faces with squinty little eyes and round little cheeks. Each of them carries a golden bow and arrow. As the Cupids' scan the streets they see what appears to be two very beautiful ladies hovering near what appears to be a dashing Prince. In agreement, the messengers of love let their arrows fly. Little Cupid's aim is true and the Awkward Sisters are struck in the patooties with an arrow of love. Big Cupid's aim is true and a statue of Ethan Allen is struck in the hind quarters with an arrow of love. The Cupids' are satisfied.
III. By and by the Street Dancers are ready to dance their block again, but are distracted by witnessing the Awkward Sisters doting on a lifeless statue. They are wary of the newcomers on the block. But soon, the music starts again and they are ready to dance. Suddenly The Librarian comes out on the library balcony. "What have I told you about this RACKET!?" She is clearly at her limit. DJ Evester turns to her and remarks coolly, "Listen, Book Worm... first amendment, article three. Freedom of expression... in other words, Thou Shalt Not Harsh Church St.'s Mellow." Hearing distant passionate speech, the Cupid's see what appears to be a Romeo and Juliet-like scenario. Undoubtedly these two figures were bound to love one another. Letting their arrows fly, the outcome is a fantastic embrace between The Librarian and DJ Evester.
IV. Now the Street Dancers were certainly on to these primitive-weapon-toting fallen angels. They approach. "Hey?! Why you going around shooting at innocence people? Now the Awkward Sisters are in love with a statue and DJ Evester stopped the beat for the Librarian! You newcomers and fussin' with the flow..." Big Cupid looks at Little Cupid with a puzzled look. Rubbing their eyes they try hard to focus. Sure enough, these are two mis-matches indeed! The Cupid's aren't sure how such a thing could occur. One of the Street Dancers knows precisely how this could occur. "Come with us, little chubby cheeks." The Street Dancers take the Cupids' directly to Eyes Of The World. "What you two need -- are glasses."
V. And so the mistakes are realized, the spectacles are in place and it is time for resolution. The Cupids' let their arrows fly once more to the Awkward Sisters, releasing them from the spell. The Cupids' let their arrows fly once more to the statue of Ethan Allen, releasing him from the spell. But once they saw how happy the Librarian and DJ Evester are in each others arms, they decide this unlikely match is for the better good. They withhold their arrows so that the music could play on. {end, everyone dances to bumpin' MIA}

Play: LOBQUARIUM OR THE MONKEY?

This club play was written as a group collaboration between the participants and the group leader, Trish Denton.
February 05, 2011

LOBQUARIUM OR THE MONKEY?

Starring:
Victoria Gazella (Avery)
Francesca Gazella/Monkey (Augie)
Washed-up Wiccan Magician (Trish)
Popcorn Peddler (Avery)
Fisherman (Trish)
Lobquarium (Trish)

Synopsis:
I. In the private circus tent of The Magnificent Gazella Sisters, we find Victoria and Francesca discussing material for their new act. They are in agreement on adding a 'lean-out', a 'double table', and a 'right-left crossover'. The sisters fall into a tussle when Victoria proposes a need for a new element, "...something big..." for the grand finale. For years she has been pushing for a trained animal in their beloved act. Francesca reluctantly inquires, "An elephant?" And Victoria tells her she is crazy. She was thinking something shiny and grand... "A LOBSTER!" Francesca thinks Victoria has lost her marbles, but agrees to try it out for a time. "Good! Then go to the market and get a fresh lobster. Don't forget the shopping list: Popcorn, The Lobster and A Skull." Francesca gathers her market basket and heads into the town.
II. The market is bustling and Francesca is confident she will find the special items she needs. First, she comes upon an old Popcorn Peddler. The hobbling old woman offers her fresh, popped corn out of her weathered, wicker basket. Then, Francesca hears a shanty being sung in the distance. She follows the bellowing melody to a fish stand with a kooky old sailor. "Have you come for some mussels, Madame? Some crab? Some starfish? Some mud puppy? Some ruffy? Can I offer you a clam? Shrimpies?..." The old fisherman goes on and on and Francesca can hardly get a word in. Finally she prevails, "I would like one live lobster please." It was as if the old fisherman had known all along and tried to talk his way around the request. "A lobster, eh? Eh, eh, eh... I have only one lobster... and it's a REAL LIVELY one, it is.... Sure you want a lobster, madame?" When Francesca insists, the fisherman asks for her assistance. We see a rough and tumble flurry of movement. "You can 'ave that rascal on the house, madame. Just be careful!" With an active basket, Francesca continues on her way through the bustling market. She happens upon a voodoo stand with a crowing old barker. "Magical Elements! Wiccan wonders! Crystals! Herbs! Witchcraft!" The old woman looks slightly familiar to Francesca and she is certain that the stand will have what she needs. "Well, hello young madame. You look quite familiar. It is you! You are one of the Magnificent Gazella Sisters,aren't you!?" Francesca is accustomed to fans and tells the old woman that she is indeed. The old woman says an aside, "If it wasn't for those sisters, my Wonderous Wiccan Magic Show would still be top bill instead of a side show.... I wouldn't have to be a peddler. It is because of her that I have fallen from glory!" She turns to Francesca, "What have you come for, my dear, dear girl?" The girl remarks, "I am looking for a skull for my circus act..." The old woman's eyes light up, "A skull huh? I'll tell you what. I only have one left, but I'll give it to you if you make me a promise, young one." Francesca thought this to be a fair deal, "Please eat these three enchanted lima beans before your next show. Think of me... that will be payment enough." Francesca agrees and hurries back to the circus grounds with her shopping list fulfilled.
III. Once outside of the tent, Francesca stops and reflects on the exchange she had had with the interesting old woman. Considering her a fan, she figured that the enchanted lima beans would aid her in not only her performance, but in her quarrel with her sister regarding the lobster. "Bottom's up!" She swallows the three beans whole. Suddenly her body begins to disfigure, bewhisker and transform... inside the tent Victoria hears what seems to be a monkey screaming. She rushes to the entry to see what the commotion is about. Her sister is no where to be seen, but the market basket is left just outside the entry. A spunky little lobster crawls out. "Great! Francesca has left the lobster for me! I'll get right to work!" Victoria brings the lobster in and begins to lovingly shine his shell. "You are to be called Lobquarium!" Lobquarium clicks his claws and slowly crawls across the sawdust floor. Just then, a random monkey comes bounding through the door pulling at Victoria's dress. Victoria is confused. Did Francesca bring the monkey as an option for their act as well? She tries to calm the monkey and brush him aside. She has work to do training Lobquarium! Victoria first asks Lobquarium to do a little dance. The wonky little lobster clicks one claw, then the other. We hear the crickets chirping outside. Then, she instructs Lobquarium to jump over the skull. In slow motion, Lobquarium approaches the skull at half-speed. Just when we expect Lobquarium to jump, he clicks his claw at the skull. We hear the crickets chirping outside. Victoria is flustered as show time is announced in 15 minutes. "Where the devil is my sister?!" The monkey gets very, very excited at this and begins to dance an amazing dance. Then, the monkey bounds gracefully over the skull. Victoria is not sure what to do for the show. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers make him pay, $50 everyday." Her finger lands on Lobquarium, so she grabs him and storms off leaving the monkey in the dust.
IV. Under the big top, Victoria is flustered by the disappearance of her sister, and the mysterious appearance of the random monkey. She starts her act with the usual bits, a gazelle inspired can-can, ice-dancing and acrobatics. When Lobquarium is introduced the crowd is eager for the new element to the famed act. As Victoria instructs Lobquarium to do his first trick, it is equally as disappointing as it had been in rehearsal. Trying to make it up to the audience she plays up his next trick: Jumping the Skull. There is much anticipation and as the drum roll unfolds Lobquarium reaches the skull and stops with an awkward click toward the audience. Victoria shoos him away and finishes the act with finesse. Once back in her tent she scolds the lobster, "Lobquarium! That was the most awkward performance I have ever had. Back to the ocean with you... you, you, you CRUSTATION!!" Nodding toward the random monkey, Victoria says, "It's me and you monkey. Until my sister returns..."
V. Weeks go by and the show of Victoria Gazella and her Flying Monkey becomes a great success. Victoria is so distracted by the success, that she hardly has time to worry about where the heck her sister has gone. Until one night, the stars are so bright that they clear her mind and focus her heart. "Go to bed, Monkey." She sighs sadly. Looking at the heavens, Victoria spots a shooting star. "Oh stars. I miss my sister dearly. Please bring her back to me." Her wish is so heart-felt and pure, that no Wonderous Wiccan enchantment could override this heart magic. Hearing a ruckus from the monkey's quarters, Victoria rushes to his side... but instead of finding the monkey, her sister is there!! The two go for a long walk and Francesca explains everything. They agree that there is one thing that must be done. "That Wonderous Wiccan Witch needs to be paid a visit. She can't get away with this!" The sisters stomp down to the marketplace. Conveniently the Wonderous Wiccan Magic Show is happening in the main square. The old woman is preparing for her grand finale... "And now for my final act! I have been developing it for quite some time and I assure you, you will be nothing short of amazed! I would like to introduce you all to my assistant LOBQUARIUM!..." The girls just look at one another and roll their eyes. If that is all the old witch has up her sleeve, than they would rather leave her to her own demise of poor showmanship than to waste their energy on revenge.